Under the dome

You know that book by Stephen King where the town is isolated under an impenetrable dome? Or the Truman Show where Jim Carrey finds that the perfect town he is living in is nothing but a giant petri dish containing an experiment that the rest of America is viewing? Sometimes, I feel that Ramsbottom is, in a similar way, cut off from the reality that the rest of Manchester and Lancashire is experiencing. Ok, maybe I exaggerate slightly, but we are certainly separated in some bizarre way from our closest neighbours in Bury. "In what way are we different?" you ask and I reply - the weather!

Take, for example, the recent snow. As far as I am aware, Ramsbottom and Bury experienced this snow to a similar extent: similar amounts fell on the same days. However, as I look out of the window beside me, I can see that the roof of practically every house and shop in the centre of town is still thickly coated with snow (gold star for being 'green' in terms of loft insulation, Rammy-ites!), the grass slope in front of our house is still white (apart from the churned-up sled runs created by kids at the week-end) and the surface of Callender Street is ice apart from the two tracks, a car's width apart down the centre. This stuff is not for shifting. On the other hand, I had occasion to go to Bury on Sunday and, by the time I was within a mile of the centre of town, there were only the scantest smatterings of snow and within half a mile, there was no evidence of snow ever having fallen although I am assured by those who live in Bury that it certainly did!

Now, unless my senses are wildly out on this, I would guess that Ramsbottom is not at an elevation 500 metres higher than Bury. In fact, I'd be surprised if it was significantly different (just checked - Bury is 100m above sea level and Rammy is 133m) so what accounts for the existence of this frosty micro-climate? Perhaps it is to do with Rammy's situation in a valley. Perhaps the town was built on a giant block of permafrost or a misguided Arctic glacier. I don't know why - is there anyone out there who does...

This is not the only example of Rammy having separate weather fronts. I have often driven from Rammy to Bolton, leaving the house in heavy fog but, halfway to Bolton, emerging into a clear, bright morning. Or I have left Rammy in clear weather and hit a pea-souper as I approach Bolton. Rain? Also similarly local. It seems there is Ramsbottom weather and then there is the weather for everyone outside the town. I have certainly learned that the information provided by weather apps on my phone is meaningless within Rammy but works quite well elsewhere in the world. Perhaps we need to declare independence from the Met Office and have our own local weather forecasters? Maybe some guys with seaweed or pinecones hung up outside their back door could do better than the predictions we currently receive via London?

Despite the 'personalised' weather, I don't really think we are living in some extended reality TV show under the microscope of public scrutiny...or are we? If we are, all I can say is "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr de Mille".