It is often said that it is best not to raise the matter of politics or religion with strangers. This would imply that discussing either of these topics with people you know is perfectly OK but I am here to tell you you that, in my experience, this is far from being the case: politics and religion invariably produce the side effects of raised blood pressure and heated words within seconds of the start of a discussion. These days, any discussion of politics will lead onto the poison that is UKIP and their blokeish oaf of a leader, Nigel Farage (see - I'm starting already). All I need to hear are the words "Well, he talks a lot of sense..." and all my buttons are pushed and, cartoon-style, the steam starts to issue from my ears. Religion, on the other hand, either involves getting an ear-bashing from fundamentalist atheists who, I feel, are overly zealous in their desire to inflict their (non) belief on me or from idiots who see fit to blame the atrocities inflicted by 'Islamic' extremists on all Muslims, thereby including the vast majority of law-abiding, peace-loving followers of Islam in that cohort. Either way, they are conversations I would rather not have.
So, perhaps sport might provide a good topic for conversation? No, no, no! Either someone will wax lyrical about the aesthetic beauty of darts, the power and majesty of the drama enatiled in each game (puh-lease!) or try to convince me of the Herculean effort and chess-like skills involved in snooker. I just want to tell them that watching paint dry is less boring and interests me to the same degree. Football? Don't go there: the person you are about to talk to will invariably reveal their support for the arch-rivals of your team and the conversation will consist of snipes and gripes once this becomes known. Poker? Are you serious?? Even the way in which we view sport can cause disagreements. Often, I hear the phrase "Ah but Sky really have improved the experience of watching football". Have they bollocks, pardon my language. For a start, the amount of money pumped into the game has destroyed the national team, the common bond of going to watch (yes - going to the actual ground!) at 3 o'clock on a Saturday has been destroyed by the ban on televising matches at this time so that matches are now spread across the week and finally, I liked the fact that, when the occasional live match on TV was shown, the program used to start about ten minutes before the kick-off and end ten minutes after the final whistle: I don't need endless discussion of the match - I just watched it!
Culture - there's something we can agree on, surely? Not a chance. Art discussions eventually get around to Tracey Emin and/or Damien Hirst ("Why is that so good? I could do that!") or the "meaninglessness" of modern art generally ("Why can't they just paint a bloody picture?"). TV and films - I must have a taste that is the polar opposites of so many other people because the things I watch haven't registered on their radar and the things they watch are unknown to me or leave me cold (or positively revulsed in the case of BB or IACGMOOH). Not having a sahred viewing experience means any chance of sharing views on a common subject is pretty nigh on impossible. The fragmentation of TV giving us more 'choice' (thanks for that too, Sky) means those 'water-cooler moments are less likely to happen as we all watch different things or record things to watch later. Books too are off limit for discussion as I seem to be reading titles alien to the reading lists of most friends.
Admittedly, the barriers to conversation I have outlined are my personal prejudices. However, it might account for the fact that, to foreign eyes, the image of the British is that we seem to be obsessed with the weather and it will always feature in conversations. In fact, the reason that we talk about the weather is that it is simply one of the few things we can discuss where we can all agree: "Rainy again, isn't it?" "It certainly is!". No arguments there.
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