Pick your targets

There seems to have been some serious schadenfreude going on over the last 48 hours in respect of the attack on 'Cereal Killers' eaterie in Brick Lane. For those who don't know, 'Cereal Killers' specialised in selling bowls of cereal (at £3.95 a pop) to the hipster residents of Shoreditch and Whitechapel. No, I don't understand it either: a bowl of cereal is something one normally enjoys at home, slobbing in PJ's, either first thing in the morning or last thing at night as a snack (not sure about cereals for lunch, but not against giving it a go!). The cost of this treat at home? Ooh, probably about 15p. A bowl of cereal worth £3.95 on the other hand would normally form part of a ££££ breakfast in a hotel (I have paid anywhere between £11 and £22 for a full breakfast where it is not included in the room price). But the concept of walking into a food outlet in London's East End to willingly part with the thick end of £5 for a bowl of cereal defeats me.

'Cereal Killers' is one of those things that happens from time to time: a ludicrous idea that, for some unfathomable reason, takes off with a a particular group and suddenly snowballs into a phenomenon. The complete idiocy of such a venture attracted much media attention (and, therefore, free publicity) and virtually guaranteed great footfall for the establishment. Like many culinary trends (and I wince as I include the serving of breakfast cereals the list of 'culinary' activities), this will have its moment and then vanish. Another current food trend is to serve food on anything other than plates: wellington boots full of chips; steak with a sauce on a slate; steak served under a nest of barbed wire. This is the nouvelle cuisine du nos jours. It is hateful, pointless and nothing to do with enhancing the enjoyment of food but it will soon fade into deserved oblivion.

When Class War decided to attack 'Cereal Killers' with paint and, I believe, fire (I have a vision of the mob in the old 'Frankenstein' movie: all burning torches advancing on the castle), they did so to protest the gentrification of the area. This is duff logic, surely? If an area has reached a state where it can sustain, for longer than 10 minutes, a cafe that sells breakfast cereals, then I would respectfully submit that the gentrification is well underway because the lunatics have arleady taken over the asylum. How many local estate agents selling 'bijoux' terraced homes, once affordable family homes but now the preserve of the latte-drinking chatterati, were attacked in this protest? How many 'buy-to-let' landlords looking for the big bucks that the poorest can't provide were targeted? Was the local council questioned over their seeming inability to enforce a 35% affordable housing requirement in new housing developments? Was the Mayor of London taken to task for allowing property to be bought hand-over-fist by absentee owners? Gentrification is about pricing the working/lower middle classes out of the market in that area, something that would seem to have already happened or be well-established in Shoreditch. Attacking businesses where people with more money than sense go to spend their income will not bring about social change: burning down Fortnum & Mason will not feed the poor or collapse the monarchy. There again, Class War have always been bigger on gesture than they have on effecting outcomes…

'Cereal Killers' are not, as a friend of mine said, 'Alan Sugar's shock troops, the advance guard of Richard Branson's Virgin invasion fleet' (sorry, Geoff). They are a cople of guys who have realised that there are people in their local area who are willing to spend silly money on stupid things. They are not promoting gentrification, they are exploiting it. Pick your targets, Class War.